Dream Big

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One the biggest motivators to overhaul our finances was the realization that if we continued to do what we were doing, we were never going to get to do the things we wanted to do. It's easy to talk about future plans or dreams. "One day we will do this," or, "One day we will go there." They roll of the tongue easily. They are dreamy hypotheticals. Good intentions with no substance. When it really truly hit me that we were never going to get to do those "one day" things was when I became really intense on whipping our financial life into shape. If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail. The old adage by Benjamin Franklin holds true, especially in the world of personal finance. 

Some people, like me, can get down and dirty in the numbers and budgeting, and that brings a sense of enjoyment and satisfaction in itself. My husband on the other hand, could care less. He doesn't get excited about allocating money to different categories. He is a spender through and through. He needs a big reason for doing the nitty gritty. The prize for a race well run. Chris Hogan's book, Retire Inspired, stresses the importance of dreaming big. What would you do if you could do anything you wanted? Honestly, this question is hard for me to answer. I am such a practical person at heart that it takes a lot to get me into that frame of mind. Scott and I talked about this and his answer was quick and definitive. All he wants is to buy a sailboat and sail around the world. That's a big dream but it is the perfect motivator. It's big enough that it will require sacrifice but it still attainable. My dreams are similar. We both love to travel and I cannot wait to take our future family all over the world. I want to plan a trip, have the money, and not stress about anything. 

So what does that really look like? If the whole point of this dreaming big thing is to actually do it, then how do you get there? One word, budget. It's not a dirty word. For a person like me, who will get the worst case of buyer's remorse, it is a life saver. Knowing that I have money allocated to a specific category keeps me from freaking out when I go to buy something. It also assures me that I am not sabotaging future goals for a momentary pleasure. Seeing how all the pieces fit together is amazing. Now you might be thinking, "Yeah, that is great for a nerd like you, but what about me? I don't care about numbers! I just want to spend my money how I want to!" 

Your thoughts are real and valid. I would argue that your definition of budget might be slightly wrong. Budget doesn't mean cheap or constricting. It simply means that there is a finite amount you can spend on any particular thing. How does that sound any better? Well, the reason is because YOU decide what that finite amount is. You tell your money where it is going to go. Sure there are some things that you going to have to pay even if you don't want to. Utilities, maybe rent or a mortgage, food, transportation, but the rest is up to you. It's is when you consciously decide how you going to spend your money that you actually can see those big dreams becoming reality. Otherwise the money just leaks out of your bank account month after month, and you will never make any progress. 

If you still don't believe me, I strongly encourage you to try out www.everydollar.com. It is great budgeting tool that has helped us to so much. When I use it, I can see that we are going to get to those "one day" things and I can actually start dreaming bigger. I am confident that those dreams are going to become realities. 

Any other personal finance junkies out there? Are you more of spender or a saver? What big things do you want accomplish? 

2016

Well, I am two weeks late with this post. 2016 has started off well. I actually haven't been posting because I have actually been doing things! It feels pretty good. I have been thinking a lot about goal setting. I usually try to set some sort of resolutions every year, but rarely do they stick. I really want this year to be different. I want to say that I going to get in shape and actually get in shape. Or say that I am going to do laundry every day and actually do that laundry. So far, I am off to a pretty good start in the workout department. I have been slacking on the laundry. There definitely is a difference between making a resolution and setting a goal. I am trying to do a better job of setting concrete goals rather than vague resolutions.
 So what makes a goal? I remember talking a lot of about this in my Strategic Management class. Companies that succeed have a clear mission or goal. What are the characteristics of a clear goal? According to Dave Ramsey, who I love listening to driving to and from work, a good goal is specific, personal, measurable, attainable and in writing. What does that look like? For our family, one of the goals this year is to completely fund our emergency fund of 6 months of expenses. That meets the specific requirement. It is personal because it directly affects our family's well-being so it puts internal pressure on us to get it done. It is measurable because we have an exact number that we are trying to reach. It is an attainable number that we can save for and we have set a realistic time frame for reaching that goal. Lastly, it is in writing and both myself and Scott see it on daily basis. For me in writing also means a visual chart. I love to check stuff off or to color things in so I made a little thermometer chart to color in as we get closer to the goal. That for me has been the kicker for staying focussed really pushing me to save and work hard on finishing.
I am trying to translate this to my physical goals. I want to be in better shape next January than I am now. I don't really care about losing weight but I know that I could be stronger. I am still struggling with how I want to define this goal. Right now, the best metric I have is how many times a week I do something physically active. I am shooting for 4 times a week right now. To motivate me and give a visual reminder, I am coloring in the days on the monthly view of my planner. Each day that I do a workout of some kind I color that day in my planner. It gives me an overview of how active that month. I like seeing the all the days that are colored in and letting the blank days be that little kick in the pants to get me going. When I look down and see a lot of blanks days it stops me from getting complacent. I am hoping that building these little reminders into my routine will motivate me stick with my goals this year and make some progress.

Is 2016 off to a good start for you? Do you make goals/resolutions each year? What keeps to you motivated?

Why You No Sleep?

This a phrase I have asked my baby many, many times. The age old parenting dilemma: getting your child into a regular sleep pattern. Experiencing sleep deprivation was my biggest fear all through out my pregnancy. It may seem trivial, but I LOVE sleep. I went to bed every night at 10:30 pm or 11:00 pm...in college. I have never pulled an all-nighter. I try for a regular 8-9 hours every single night. To say sleep is important to me is a extreme understatement. I hate how I feel and act when I go without asleep. I am sluggish, grouchy, and I can be snappy and rude. So getting this little guy on somewhat of a regular routine was high on my priority list from the get go.
Thankfully, God in His great mercy has been especially kind. I honestly think He is the one who fueled me during those 3 am feedings. He has also blessed us with a pretty easy-going baby. I cannot take credit for any of this little guy's disposition.
All that said, I really do believe that creating a pretty regular pattern has been beneficial for both myself and baby. I am not an expert in this by any stretch of the imagination. This is my first baby, so I am just working with the knowledge I have gleaned from the Internet and my mom and mother in-law. This is what has worked for us and I hope that if you are a mom reading this, it can help you as well.

1. Be calm.
Babies can feel your stress. You can feel your stress. When you feel that that stress bubbling up inside, like a geyser getting ready to explode, stop. Take some deep breaths, say a prayer, lay it at the feet of Jesus, and take it one step at a time. One way that helps me not to get too overwhelmed is to approach the sleep situation like an experiment. If my hypothesis A fell through, where did it go wrong? What should I change for next time? What is the new hypothesis for getting the best sleep?That may seems harsh or clinical, but it allows me to not let my emotions run over me. I have to be ok with getting it wrong, because in reality, I am going to get it wrong a lot. I can only do my best.

2. Be quick to ask advice.
When I was trying to figure out how to get baby to sleep in those first days, the first person I turned to was my mom. Not the Internet, not books, not an app but my mom. She has 5 kids and we all are fairly well-adjusted human beings, so her credentials seem pretty solid. If you do not have a mature, experienced person in your life, find one. Life is too hard to go at it alone. That is coming from someone who is fiercely independent and proud to a fault. Ask for help. Many new moms crater because they shut themselves off in those first days. You are experiencing crazy hormonal imbalances and probably some exhaustion. Talk to someone you trust. You do not have to do this alone.

3. Be ok with crying.
Sadly, babies cry. They cry a lot. Do not let it get to you. You are not a bad mom if your baby cries. The poor little things are being flooded with stimuli. This world is hard for them. They are going to cry, especially when you are trying to get them to sleep. I bawled when we put our little guy in his crib. He screamed and screamed but I knew he was exhausted and needed to sleep. He had barely slept that second night in the hospital. I knew that he needed to sleep and I knew that it would be best for him to sleep in his crib. I laid on the couch and cried while he cried. It worked though. He fell asleep and has been sleeping in his crib ever since.

4. Be diligent to the routine that you establish
This is especially hard for me. I crave routine and structure but I have a hard time telling people no. When it comes to getting your baby on a sleep routine, you are going to have to say no to people. Nap times and bed times are not going to magically coincide with other peoples' schedules. Especially as the baby gets older and more manageable, it seem like the schedule is not as important. It still is incredibly vital. The key getting baby into a solid schedule is to establish fixed points the day. Right now, I am trying to establish a set wake time and bed time for our 3 month old. The goal is not only to give baby a fixed point a reference, but to help you better schedule your day.

5. Be ready for change.
The most frustrating part of this sleep scheduling journey has been the regression. Our little guy has been sleeping for 9-10 hour stretches for several weeks now but all of a sudden, he wants to wake up at 5 am. I do not want to wake up at 5 am. There is nothing I want less in the world. It is incredibly frustrating. I know that with time and patience, we will get through this spell but it is hard to look at it that way when I am are stumbling blindly through the house to try to console the baby back to sleep. It is best to be prepared for the inevitable hiccup. It keeps me from getting complacent. It also stresses the point about remaining diligent to the routine. Keep working at it till something works.

Ok, now that I am done ranting (did it seem like I was ranting, I don't mean to come across that way), what do you think?

I want to stress again that I am not an expert. I know that different people will have different views. This is simply my take on the situation and a few things that I have learned so far. If anyone has any great insights, I would love to hear them! 

Pack Rat

Flying to Europe over Christmas. Yes, that is a horse.

I love to travel. It is one of my favorite things. I do not care for packing, mainly because I hate getting destination and realizing that I forgot something essential. One time in high school, I was going away to a volleyball tournament. We were going to be gone 5 days. When I opened my toiletry bag, I realized that I had not packed a toothbrush. I panicked.  Sadly, I had to use the finger-toothpaste method because there were no stores near by. Needless to say, I chewed A LOT gum that week. 

Since then I have become a very thorough packer. There are a few things that I do to try and reduce the number of items I forget. First, I make a very detailed list. I list out pretty much everything that I will need. Sometimes I will simply write down vague categories like "toiletries" or "shorts" but I a lot of the time I like to list the items I am envisioning so I do not forget them. For example, if I am thinking of a specific outfit that I want to pack, I will list out the different articles of clothing so I do not forget a piece of it. I also like to be specific about the quantity of each item. There is hardly anything worse than running out of socks, especially if you are traveling during the winter.

While I am in the list-making stage, I like to plan out my outfits. I am not religious about this but I do like to have several outfits already planned in my mind before a trip. This helps eliminate some work while I am traveling because I will already know what I to want where. This also helps me pack smart. I try to take items that can be worn together. I try to mix and match as many articles of clothing as possible. This helps with space and overall efficiency. It also adds for a little variety. I can switch things up when outfit I planned falls flat since most of the pieces go together. 

Once my list is made, I begin to pack. I like to start a few days before my trip. I do not enjoy packing last minute. Usually, I have everything ready and waiting the night before I leave. I pack my last minute items, as I finish using them. For example, after I brush my teeth, I put my toothbrush in my bag. Same goes for my hair brush and make-up. This helps me to not overlook the smaller things in the hurry to get out the door on time. 

Lastly, I have to remind myself to chill out. I am probably going to forget something. It will not be the end of the world. Sometimes you just have to make the most out of an unfortunate situation. What is that quote about the best laid plans?

I am currently getting ready for a road trip to Disney World. I am putting my skills to the test because I am not only packing for myself but also my 2 month old son. Did you know that babies require a whole lot of stuff? His list is longer than mine by far. This is his second road trip We learned a lot after the first one and I am hoping to refine some techniques on this one.  I will put together another post specifically about traveling with a baby after we get back.

Any thoughts on packing? I am the only neurotic one out there?