Good Friday

Happy Good Friday! Don't know what Good Friday is? Check out this resource. It is not necessarily a good day in our house. I am home with a snotty baby. The poor little thing has a cold and it has lead to a rather tumultuous nap time. It must be so frustrating to be a baby and have a cold. To not be able to get comfortable but also not be able to express your discomfort or needs in any other way but crying. Hopefully, the diffuser will help clear out his little nasal passages and he can get some rest.
With Easter just around the corner, it is a good time to reflect. I have really enjoyed listening to this series. Dr. Sproul is an excellent communicator. He is very intellectual but he still makes the information accessible and understandable. It also reminds to get back into the Bible. Listening to others talk about the Bible is great, but reading it for yourself is even better. That is my desire, going forward, to be a more conscientious reader. Not out of guilt or because that is what I'm "supposed" to do, but for the enjoyment of it and desire to learn and understand God more. I hope that is encouraging to others out there. Dive on in!

Have a wonderful Easter weekend!

Retreat

Thank. Goodness. It's. Friday. This has been one full week. I know I talked a lot about work  last week but that just seems to be the trend in my life right now. Work and the weather. I snapped this photo in our backyard yesterday (edited with A Color Story, still singing it's praises!). The time change and the sunshine are much needed mood boosters. We are taking full advantage of the mild temperatures before the blazing heat of summer sets in.
Sometimes, the best thing I can when I get overly stressed is to just walk away. Obviously, this tactic doesn't work if you have a deadline bearing down on you (hello, college midterms. I'm looking at you!) but usually, in my life and job, I have enough wiggle room to take a small break. It has to be real break. Not a jump-on-Instagram break, but a true disconnect. Working out and being outside have provided me great opportunities for clear my head.
If I can't get away from the problem completely, then it is generally best just to move on to another task. Usually, I will pick something small that I know I can accomplish. That little win and feeling of success will usually motivate me to tackle the original problem again, this time with more confidence and a clearer head.
Sometimes, though, I am just stuck and no amount of mental trickery is going to help. Then it is time to call it day. Sleep on it, mull it over, and attack it first thing tomorrow. That was how I felt on Tuesday. I let myself get pushed into overwhelmed-land and the only thing left to do was retreat. Trying to stay focussed on the problem and fix it was only leading to more fear and emotion. Critical thinking had already left so it was time to pack it up and just retreat for awhile. The next day, was a million times better. The problem I had been wrestling with seemed so much more manageable after a little time apart. Hopefully next time I will do a better job of not letting myself get to that overwhelmed state.

Anyone else get these overwhelmed feelings? Like there is a hive of bees swarming in your head?

Work, Work, Work

This week has been C-R-A-Z-Y, work wise. Things are ramping up in a good way but it has led to a rather hectic schedule. I am happy to be busy doing things that matter and actually moving the needle at work. There is nothing more annoying (to me) than busy work. I like stuff that makes a difference on the bottom line. With all the extra time spent at work, I am a little behind here at home. The laundry machine is currently humming away, and the floor really needs a good scrubbing. One thing that I have learned about myself through this whole part time working/part time being home experiment is that I like I both enough to enjoy being busy. I really like staying home and doing homemaker type things. I really like working and doing stuff at the office. I love that right now I am able to do both but if at some point I have to quit work to stay home with kids, I am going to be ok with that. For the longest time, I dreaded the idea of being a stay-at home mom. I thought it would be incredibly lame and boring. I had a really narrow view of women who stayed at home and frankly, it wasn't the most biblical view. These past few months, I have really been trying recalibrate my thinking toward a more biblical based view of motherhood and remove the false ideas that were based on worldly presuppositions. I am definitely not done. I have a lot of thinking to do but I can already see progress. I am much more at peace and a lot more content, no matter what I am doing.

I guess I better get back to trying to have it all! (30 Rock/Liz Lemon/Tina Fey reference. CHECK IT OUT ON NETFLIX!)

Making A House A Home

(via Pinterest, Sherwin Williams paint colors)

If you're like me, you have the most wonderfully curated collection of Pinterest boards. You might even occasionally browse through said boards in order to reorganize them or discard pins that no longer match your style. It's a dream like place with amazing kitchens, beautiful outfits, delicious recipes and fitness inspiration. If I am honest, my Pinterest boards do not match my life. This is not a judgement against Pinterest. I love it for the inspiration and vast amounts of information that it brings. But if it is supposed to be for inspiration then something physical should eventually come out of it. I  have become dissatisfied with all the pretty stuff staying on Pinterest on not making its way into my "real" life. So, I have decided, this is year I actually getting some decorating done.
My first and foremost goal is to finish painting the hallway and guest bedroom. The hallway will be Revere Pewter to match our living room and dining room areas. It is a Benjamin Moore color that I matched with Sherwin Williams SuperPaint. I think I am going to try and use the leftover Sherwin Williams Anonymous paint in the guest room. This is same color I used in the baby room and I love how it turned out. I think it will be striking with white and cream bedding.
Even though I am set on getting stuff done, I am also very concerned with not spending a lot (or any) money. I used to use money as an excuse to not do stuff. I would put off doing anything because I felt like I needed this or that to really complete the project. When I couldn't buy that one thing that I thought I needed then I wouldn't do anything.  Since I have been in purge mode, I have realized that I have a ton of stuff that I can use. I have more than enough decor items to fill this entire house. It is just a matter of getting creative.
Lastly, I finally have come to terms with the fact that it is ok to settle into a place. It is a weird feeling for me. For longest time, I was concerned that if I decorated or made an effort to do stuff around the house and then we moved, it would be a big waste. I don't want to keep pushing off making our house a home just because we might move one day. I am tired of the balancing act of emotions. Always trying to not get too involved with where I am because I know it will be easier to say goodbye if I don't actually care. It is exhausting to live with the anticipation of upheaval. So I am going to love on this little house. Dress it up, make it pretty and create cozy, little corners. Maybe it will make a future move harder but I am ok with that. I will cross that bridge when I get there.

Small Change, Big Difference

When I found out I was pregnant, one of the first things that crossed mind, after I got through all of the jitters and excitement, was "I will never get to sleep in again." I love to sleep. I love to sleep in. In college, I was in bed by 11 pm consistently. I have never pulled an all-nighter. When I stayed up late, I HAD to sleep in or I felt like the world would end. I hate feeling groggy and sleep deprived. All I want is to get my nice eight hours every night, please and thank you.
Having children wrecks all of that. It is up and down for the first few months. The middle of the night feedings were not as horrible as the 5 am wake up calls. I never could get back into a deep sleep after those early morning feedings. By the grace of God, we had the little man sleeping through the night around four months. That was a major blessing. Even though he sleeps all night, he is a not a late sleeper. He wakes up around 6:30 am-7:00 am every morning. The crazy thing is, I actually feel less tired than before I had him.
 I had always read that if you go to bed at roughly the same time and wake up at roughly the same time, that your body would feel less tired. Of course, College Student Joanna brushed that off. Saturdays are for waking up slowly! Then Post-Grad Joanna just continued in her set ways. Netflix binge on a Friday night? Don't mind if I do. However, Parent Joanna is all about getting to bed early and waking up early. That 6:30 am wake up call is no longer a point of dread. I actually am starting to wake up naturally around that time. It gives me a few extra minutes to drink my coffee and still get dressed presentably for work. Getting up early is one those life milestones that signal adulthood. It is so atypical from my past behavior but it has made such a big difference in how I feel. One little thing, waking up at 6:30 am and being ok with that, has completely changed by day. My how the tides have turned.

Living

I sat down to write this post and then kind of forgot what I wanted to say.  It seems to be a trend lately. February has been an interesting month so far. We've had weather whiplash. One week it feels like Spring the next week Winter is happening in full blast. We had some big downs in the parenting department. How do you get a kid who just learned how to stand up to lay down and take a nap?! I was very worried that the days of good napping were gone. Thankfully, we have gotten through four sleep sessions without any issues and last night he didn't wake up pitching a fit. YEAH! The productivity train is still rolling, which is amazing. Work has been going well. Life in general has been good but I feel like there is disturbance underneath the surface. I have been doing a lot of thinking. Not just "what do I need to do right now" or "what should I make for dinner" type of thinking but pondering and wrestling. I am grappling with a lot of bigger questions. Those questions that define and shape a person's life. I am not doubting my faith or having a crisis of conscience. It is more like trying to really hone in and flesh out the overarching principles that I believe. How the big questions look when they are worked in day to day living. I highly value logical consistency. I have my dad to thank for that. It used to be so infuriating as a tween and early teen to talk to him about stuff. He would push back against all of my arguments and didn't cut me any slack. I desperately just wanted to win a debate. Of course, when you're thirteen and fourteen and you're concept the world and logic is so limited you are not going to construct winning arguments. Having that pressure to not just spout off nonsense and actually think through what I was saying, has proven invaluable. It taught me to think critically and to reason rather than just go with the feeling of the moment. It does make life difficult sometimes and has lead to this season of internal debates. Does anyone out there have days when they wish they were less self-aware? Sometimes, I just want to give in and just float in a sea mindlessness, which usually equals scrolling through Pinterest and Instagram for way too long. All of that to say, life is good but I feel uneasy and I have a feeling that it won't subside for a while.

On a much happier note, here are somethings that have caught my attention lately:

This post about hair care. I am day 2 of overhauling my hair washing routine. Wish me luck!

I am in love with A Color Story. It is an amazing photo editing tool. I used one of the free filters on the photo above.

I have started doing some preliminary searches for new swimwear. I don't know how my old stuff will fit since it is all pre-baby. Albion Fit has some really cute ones with lots of coverage. The workout gear looks amazing, as well.

Speaking of working out, if you follow me on Pinterest, you may have seen a lot of pins from Pumps & Iron. I am really enjoying her workouts. They are usually short, which is great for doing during nap times, and do not require a lot of equipment. I did one earlier today and my legs were dying!

That's is what is going on around here. I think I am going to shoot for a once a week update. Small goals equals small victories. Hopefully, that will help me keep up the momentum.

Hope you have a great weekend!

Productivity

I did not mean to go this long without posting, but it has been good. I can honestly say that this last month has been the most productive month of my life. This may be the closest I have come to feeling like an "adult" ever. Back in the beginning of January, I was reading a post on What I Wore, where she mentioned her 2 minute resolution. The idea is if you can do it in 2 minutes just do it. Do not put it off, to do say that you will come back to it later, to do pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. Just do it. This little 2 minute rule really kickstarted my brain. I like I have said before, I am messy, but this month I have managed to wrangle in the mess like never before. Nike had it right all along. Just do it. While everything is not spotless or Pinterest worthy, I feel so much better about the state of our life. I have never felt less overwhelmed but having accomplished more. It's very weird.
I am hoping to get back into a better routine of posting. I do enjoy it and I want to work it back into my schedule. It may just not be the right season for it. We shall see. I love that saying that I keep seeing floating around the Internet. You can do it all just not all at once. I have to keep that in mind as a reminder as I prioritize my time.

Until next time!