Wednesday, September 30, 2015
On Being Messy
I have struggled with this problem for a long time. I was not a neat kid. I maintained a decent room in high school and for parts of college because I had RAs and I could get written up for not cleaning. Now that I am married and I have my own home, I do not have that external pressure pushing me to clean. My husband is messy as well and he really does not care what I do. It is nice because I can blow stuff off and he does not get mad but it is bad because he does not push me to get better in this area.
Most of the time the mess does not bother me. However, as life gets more hectic and I become more stressed, the mess starts to pull me down. When things are fine, the pile of dirty clothes on the floor is no big deal. When I am running late and I have "nothing" to wear, that pile is the bane of my existence.
It also limits my social life. Even though I am usually ok with the messiness, I do not want people to be at my house when it is messy. Getting ready for visitors can take days if I have let it get really bad. It makes me self-conscious when people come over and I have not cleaned. I know that my value is not tied to the cleanliness of my home and I should feel comfortable being "real." The messiness is not what causes me to feel awkward. It is the fact that the mess is a visual sign of how lazy I am.
Part of me says, "Just embrace the mess!" Life is not about spotless floors or perfectly put together room. Plus, if I am just ok with stuff then it really knocks our. Another part cringes though at the sight of everything. That is why I cannot let it go. On some level it does bother me so I have to deal with it.
I am not perfect. I will not ever be perfect but in this area, I need to change. I am much more content when my house is clean and organized. It is just hard to stay motivated to get there. Maybe putting it out there to the world will be the fire that I need to get going.
We shall see.
Anyone out there super messy as well? Or are you a neat freak who is having a heart attack looking at these photos? What is your strategy for staying on top of house work?