Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Melancholy


Maybe it's the rain we have been having, maybe it's the fact that it is completely dark at 5:00 pm, but I have a little case of the gloomies. I am not a super melancholy person. Overall, I have a pretty positive demeanor, but every so often I get in a little rut. It makes me want to hide away at home like a little hermit and shut out the world. It is pretty easy to do. I love being home and working around the house. I love slashing things off my to do list and feeling accomplished at the end of the day. I love the quiet of being home with just the Baby and the Lady Pup, especially on a dark, gloomy day. Sometimes that peaceful feeling of contempt turns to isolation. The idea of being around people becomes irksome. It seems like it would take a great deal of emotional effort to be social. It just seems so much nicer to be alone with just my little family than to venture out into the world.
I don't remember always being this way. When I was younger, I thought I was a lot more extraverted. I thought I thrived being around people. Now, I really don't think I am. I think I thrive on activity but now as an adult, I have a lot more activities that don't require other people. I get all of the energy with any of the social interaction. The weird thing about the isolation is I don't feel bored or alone. I have plenty to do and I feel very at peace. It would be one thing if I was holed up alone but wanting to be out. Then I think there would be some cause for concern. It is a strange feeling of contentment. There is no urgency to get out of the house or to look for entertainment.
Maybe it is a maturity thing. Maybe I am just getting old. Is it bad thing or a good thing? Is it a sign that I am content or is it a sign of selfishness?  I am not really sure what to think about it. For today though, I am going to enjoy the quiet and the solitude and the gloom.


Also, I feel like I REALLY need this shirt

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